Don’t Sacrifice Your Family On The Altar Of Work
I am writing this post from my favourite place in the world, Hogsback, South Africa. This is the best place to come to and completely unwind. Every time I come here, I become a different person; a person filled with joy and fun. It’s not only like this for me, but also for my wife and kids.
Hogsback is situated in the Amathole Mountains in the Eastern Cape, South Africa. It is a place of great beauty, a place where you can escape the hustle and bustle of the city. The air is fresh, it is quiet and the people who live there are extremely friendly.
Oh, by the way, for those Hobbit and Lord of the Rings fans, it is claimed that J.R.R. Tolkien got his inspiration for the Hobbit from Hogsback.
In a life filled with stress and constant challenges, we really look forward to spending even just one day at Hogsback (we live about an hour and a half away from Hogsback, therefore we make regular trips here even for just a day). But this time around we are not just spending one day, we are staying here for three days.
When we arrived, we went to our favourite restaurant in Hogsback at a place called The Edge, where we just sat in front of the fireplace (it was about 14 degrees Celcius), had some warm drinks and just relaxed.
While sitting and enjoying my tea, and having fun with my kids, I realised that for about two months I have been very distant towards the kids. I had not been playing with them nor having conversations them as I should.
And then it hit me, I had let work come in and rule my life. My life revolved around work and just earning enough money to provide for my family. That was it. The irony of it all is that although I was doing it for my family whom I dearly love and would die for, what my family truly wanted was me, yet I was depriving them of this.
I realised that I was sacrificing my family on the altar of work. But here is the thing – I know that I am not the only one struggling with this. Millions of people are struggling with the same thing, where their lives revolve around work and their families become casualties as a result.
Something Has to Change!
If you have gone through my website before, you will have already read that the reason why I have an online business is so that I can spend more time with my family in the near future and also so that I don’t need to stress about money. However, building an online business takes a lot of effort and time. But after spending time in Hogsback, I really realised that my family cannot take second place anymore, especially the kids. They grow up so fast, and I am missing it happen. I believe this might be the same for you.
So Why Am I Writing This Post?
I hope that if you, dear friend, who are reading this post are going through the same situation regarding work and your family, you will realise that you are not alone.
I believe that there is more pressure on the bread – winner in the family to bring in money than ever before in the history of the world. As a result, many people are forced to give all of themselves to their jobs and in the end have nothing left to give to their families. If you take a look at the way the world operates; things are becoming more and more expensive (this is especially true in South Africa), yet one’s salary is not increasing at nearly the same rate as inflation, therefore, you either have to work harder and longer hours and / or get an extra job or source of income. YET you still only have 24 hours in a day to do it all.
Where does your precious time with your family go?
There is a solution! And I hope to give some words of encouragement in this post.
This post is about not sacrificing your family for your work. The number one way of doing it is to find a way of earning income from a source that will allow you to work fewer hours or at least more flexible hours allowing you to spend more time with your family or at least doing that which is most important to you. The best way to do this is to this is to have an online business (go to my Get Started page to learn how you can build your own online business). But you still need to build that business, if you haven’t already done so, and that can take months or even years to become successful enough to replace your current income. You cannot expect your family to wait until then before they can spend time with you.
There has to be something that can be done in the meantime to make sure that your family does not carry on taking second place in terms of your time and devotion.
What Can Be Done In The Meantime While Waiting To Build Your Online Business?
I believe that there are 10 key things you can do with your family TODAY to make them feel that you do love them and that they are more important than your job:
- Speak to your family and tell them how much you love them and that you will do anything for them and that you are sorry for not spending as much time with them as you would love to.
- Let them know exactly what your responsibilities (financially) to them as your family are so that they can understand (if they don’t already) why you have to work so much.
- Ask each family member (especially the kids) how they feel when you don’t spend time with them. You can even ask them whether they feel loved or not when you don’t spend time with them.
- Ask each family member what you can do each day to make them feel special, to feel that they are worth spending time with. This could even be 10-20 minutes each day talking about their day or even finding out what is going on in their lives.
- The most important thing for my family is having family devotions together, where we read the bible and pray together, ensuring that God remains the centre of our family’s lives.
- Then ask them to give ideas on how to turn the situation around so that you won’t have to work so much and therefore be able to spend more time with them. This not only will make them feel a part of the solution to the problem, but it will also give them the power and confidence to hold you accountable to do those things.
- Once they have given you their ideas, you can tell them what your idea is to earn enough money as well as spend more time with them e.g. building an online business.
- Once all the ideas are laid out then develop an action plan to make that idea / ideas become a reality.
- Make sure that everyone is aware that you will need to work harder and longer in the beginning stages, but that you will do your best to not let it rob them of your time with them. (It will take at least 6 months to a year to make an online business successful).
- Ask your family to show grace towards you so that when you really are struggling and are truly exhausted they will let you rest. And also, if you are a bit irritated and do things or say things that you don’t mean that they must just bear with you, but also kindly let you know that they are not happy with the way you have just spoken or treated them.
If you can start off by doing this, it will definitely make a big difference in your family in terms of them feeling loved by you and them feeling special. But it will also give your family a greater direction, a more definite mission AND the best part – you can do it together.
Is Leaving Your Current Job The Only Way To Spend More Time With Your Family?
I need to emphasise that you do not need to leave your current job, in order to spend more quality time with your family. If you have a good job and you enjoy your job and you want to stay at that job, that’s great, but you then need to learn to make the most of the time you have with your family away from work.
I do believe that for most people, a passive income source, like an online business, offers you the best of both worlds: Great passive income as well as more flexible time.
If you want to learn how to start an online business that won’t cost anything, please read my review on Wealthy Affiliate here. It is the training programme that I have used to start my online business from scratch.
Your Family Is Worth It!
Whether it is starting an online business that will allow you to spend more time with your family in the future or whether it is just to make the most of the time you do have available to spend with them, IT WILL TAKE SACRIFICES, but…your family will always be worth it.
Please don’t wait to take action. Make a decision today to put your family first.
Please let me know what your thoughts are on this post by leaving comments below.
Please ask me any questions that you might have, either by commenting below or e-mailing me. I’m sure that we can be an encouragement to each other.
You can also subscribe to my website here, where you will receive the latest updates from me.
All the best to you.